The Truth About Loneliness

One of the loneliest times recorded in all of human history is the day Jesus was put to death on a Roman cross at Calvary. “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?” He cried, as darkness enveloped him, just before he gave up his spirit (Matthew 27:46-50).

Often we think of loneliness as something we experience only when we are alone, yet not everyone who is alone, feels lonely, and to the contrary, we may be surrounded by family and friends, yet at times still feel very isolated. The gospels record numerous times Jesus separated himself from others and went off alone to pray, yet there is no mention that he ever felt lonely until that day on the cross. In his humanity, in that moment, he experienced an extreme expression of the loneliness so common to us as sojourners on this planet, an emotion most of us will experience to some degree, at least for a season in this life. The question is, why? Why is loneliness such a common experience in our human condition?

As we look closely at the passage in Matthew, it is apparent Jesus doesn’t feel alone because there aren’t enough people around. There are swarms of onlookers and Roman soldiers, and by this point even some of his followers are near, yet darkness has fallen over all the land and Jesus feels alone and forsaken by a God he knew intimately, and he cries out in despair and anguish because the pain is so unbearable. I was once there…consumed by a darkness that had fallen over my life…a darkness beyond what the natural mind can comprehend…a darkness absent of God’s sovereign power…absent of his grace and truth. It isn’t merely an absence of light, it is the absence of spiritual connection with our creator…a darkness where Satan and his demons position themselves in stark opposition to the true nature of God and his light. If you wonder how someone can take their own life or walk into a room full of children and steal their futures and their dreams in a matter of moments…it is from these depths of darkness, oppressive and all-consuming, that the evils of Satan take over.

However, it is also in these hours of darkness that we are often drawn to God’s light and redemption, and we discover a connection to our Heavenly Father that we never knew we lacked. Without the contrast of darkness, we never truly see the beauty of God’s light and truth. Even once we come into faith in Christ, degrees of loneliness may still plague us, as we walk our own way, doing our own thing. We may live a life alone here on earth, but we can choose to draw closer to God and experience the life-giving connection and peace that Jesus had known so well throughout his time as a man.

Our journey in this life doesn’t end until we breathe our last breath, and until that time, seasons of loneliness may present themselves as a reminder to draw us closer to God, to seek his wisdom, to share our heart with him, to sing his praises, to lean in and listen as he communes with us personally. Loneliness isn’t to be embraced, it is a gentle nudge that says our spirit is in need of nourishment that only the Father can provide. Nourishment that is so overlooked when the noise and demands of this life exhaust all of our energy.