The Big Holiday Lie

With the holiday season already in bloom, the question these days is what to do with all these COVID restrictions? Most of the guidelines restrict gatherings to groups of 10 or less. In some areas it’s even fewer with specifics given on how many households can be represented at one particular gathering, and of course, there is the endless insistence upon showing up to all of your holiday gatherings donning that filthy mask crumpled on your floorboard. While the recommendations are there for in person gatherings, the majority of our public officials are pushing for a virtual holiday. I even received an email from my health insurance provider offering “creative” suggestions to stay connected with those you love during the holiday season, without actually being connected. I didn’t find them very creative at all. It was just more of the same; people treating humans like they are robots without emotions or the need to interact with other humans. According to Anthem’s email, nothing says let’s stay connected like a virtual movie night or Zooming over a Thanksgiving feast. They even suggest virtual volunteering during the holidays, which I don’t quite grasp. At the close of the email they offered mental health tips, which seemed very appropriate considering the list of isolating suggestions, in a season normally celebrated with all of the people we love.

Maybe it’s just me, but I find it a little insulting that the powers that be have belittled my need for personal connection to a selfish desire that can easily be experienced in a venue I normally use for work meetings. There is no other time in US history that the government has had the authority to mandate rules that keep us apart from people we want to be in relationship with. I may sound old school, but to remain connected with people we must be present with them, up close and personal. It’s not just about the food or the dinner conversation, much of the connection during the holidays is found in the incidental stuff, like the quiet conversation that isn’t meant for everyone to hear, watching the children play with relatives they don’t see every day, or shoeing away dad and the kids pilfering goodies before their officially up for grabs. Connection is built in the preparations, the clean up and in the laughter over the silly stuff. It is in the touch of a hand, a hug, and a tear.

Maybe your family drives you crazy and you don’t care to see them or maybe like Dr. Fauci you really don’t need to see your family because you’ve seen them before, although for many of us the idea of missing an opportunity to see someone who may not be with us next Thanksgiving or Christmas is a reality we just don’t want to risk. As much as we’re made to feel no one died before COVID, most of us realize people die every day and you may never get the opportunity to go back and undo a decision you make this year out of fear of a virus with a 98% recovery rate. Truly life is about the people and the connection we share with them. Zoom is designed for meetings, not building connections with those we love. Over time, like the months and months we’ve been encouraged to isolate and stop living, those we don’t see in person may already be fading from relationship with us. Wanting to celebrate with those we love isn’t selfish or stupid, it’s what life is about. How many family functions must we forego before we realize the cost isn’t worth that temporary facade of safety we receive in exchange? If you found out tomorrow that this holiday season would be your last, how would you spend it? I believe it’s something to consider as you’re making plans.