How Free Love Broke A Nation

We live in a culture that scoffs at what might be referred to as, “the prudish ideals of generations past”. Uncommitted sex has become the norm, an icon for the masses, a prerequisite for marriage, a right of passage into adulthood, a viable entertainment option. It’s entrenched in pop culture: music, movies, advertisements and fashion. There are few parts of our lives untouched by the glimmer of sexual immorality. Yes, sexual immorality…it’s an ugly word, conjuring images of golden idols and God’s wrath, but is it really just sexual activity in the throes of drunken pagan worship from the Old Testament? The truth is sexual immorality is simply any sexual activity outside of a marriage between a man and a woman, which is why no one wants to talk about it. In a variety of forms it is so commonplace even Christians are convinced the rules don’t apply in our modern culture, yet the Bible makes it clear they do. So the real question is, why is sexual immorality so concerning to God? The short answer is that God knows us better than we know ourselves, but that’s kind of like my mom saying, because I said so. It may be true, but it’s not helpful so I’ll elaborate a bit.

From Genesis to Revelation we see God bring order to the world, because he is by nature a God of order. Where God is present there will always be a degree of order. Rules create order, and therefore God gave rules to his people to maintain the order he created. Notice I said God’s rules are intended for God’s people. People who do not know God will not feel inclined to play by his rules, because they won’t make sense if they don’t have a relationship with him, and we as Christians aren’t helping by trying to convince them to live by the law without that relationship, which is a whole other topic that I’m not getting into right now.

So when the Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV) “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”, you can bank on the fact that choosing not to flee sexual immorality has the potential to produce some disorder or dysfunction, and this is exactly what we see when we look around today.

More than a century ago the feminist movement was initiated to gain specific freedoms like voting, and to provide greater opportunities for education and employment. Women were frustrated with marriage being the only means to financial security. Which was a legitimate concern for those with no interest in marriage or with limited opportunities. Unfortunately, not long after the movement started to gain momentum and good things were happening, a major shift occurred and a tragic loss of focus resulted. The feminists went from demanding social equality, to suddenly trying to prove they could do anything a man could do and that they really didn’t need a man at all. This new generation of feminists shunned marriage and began the “free love” movement, believing themselves to be progressive thinkers, empowered through their own sexuality and the desire to take sex from men without the expectation of marriage. Since that time, the marriage rate has continued to decline, which may not seem significant, however the family unit brings order and structure to society, by creating a solid home life, so the members of a family may help support the community.

Today nearly one quarter of American children are reared by a single parent, with the majority of those homes headed by a single mother. Many of these children are locked in a cycle of poverty, housed in low income communities filled with drugs and violence. The dating practices pervasive in our culture also place these women and their children at an increased risk for various types of abuse, by the introduction of uncommitted partners into the home.

In addition to the risk of abuse, casual relationships also erode a woman’s self-worth over time, leaving her emotionally scarred and untrusting. The “free love” movement has stolen the simple satisfaction of love and traditional family life from many of these women. As a single mother myself, I can assure you most single moms are tired and overwhelmed, and would give anything to have a husband beside them; a helpmate, someone to share in their labor and decision making. They’ve learned the hard way that women may be able to do it all, but they’re exhausted and desperately want help. Feminists claim sexual freedom empowers women, but I don’t think they’re looking into the broken world around us. The pursuit of sexual freedom has actually further enslaved women to domestic responsibilities with little to no support in the home, yet we blame the men. Men have been beat up and lied to. They’ve been told they are unnecessary and that their masculinity is wrong. They have been stripped of their role as protectors and providers, and by giving sex without expectations, women have conditioned men to take without offering anything in return. Men have been cheated of their purpose, yet we wonder why they seem so unavailable and unable to commit. The underlying goal of the early feminist movement was to help others see the value of women beyond their sexuality, though the “free love” movement has contradicted this message entirely.

Now obviously sex outside of a marriage does not have this tragic impact on everyone. Many couples do end up marrying or cohabitate as life-long partners. However, for those at risk, the fact that it works for some perpetuates this fantasy that it may work in the next relationship, with the next man. So even in the best situations, sexual immorality promotes the idea that sex outside of marriage has no negative consequences, and is not a sin. Unfortunately, even for those that do marry, sex prior to marriage can create a shaking foundation for the marriage and is often the cause of divorce, either directly or indirectly. As I said, God knows us better than we know ourselves and the law against sexual immorality was intended to protect God’s people from the widespread brokenness that surrounds us today. If we as God’s people would adhere to this one rule, there would be fewer unwanted pregnancies, fewer abortions, fewer single mothers struggling on their own, fewer children growing up in violence and poverty, fewer broken marriages resulting from sexual addiction and sin, fewer social problems with our youth, fewer violent adults with baggage from childhood. The list goes on because family life is foundational to people and society.